I'm Here

Sometimes, you love someone. You will do anything for that person, even give up things you love. But, are you even willing to tell that person that you love them? You feel as though you cannot tell them, all while it's eating your insides away. The feeling of rejection overtakes you. You are so scared of being rejected by her, that it overcomes you. Why must I be so scared to tell her? Are my insecurities hiding my feelings? I want to run from those feelings of love. I must hide them away within a dark, forgotten room. Hide them where no one will find them. But deep inside that hidden room, those feelings thrive off of my insecurities. They live off my false hopes. They live off my dying dreams. Why must I be so scared to tell her? I can't hold this in forever. When will she she that I love her? When will she see my agony? When will she realize that her lover, whom see seeks so passionately for, is waiting on her right beside her? When will she see that I am here for her and I will do anything for her? WHEN? I am here. And I am not leaving.

"Pit Stops"

It has been a while since my last blog update and I was really craving some writing today. So, here I go about one of my favorite topics: love. I know it's one of those topics that a lot of 6th grade girls enjoy talking about, but, I digress. What does love mean to you? Seriously, I want to know. To me love is not just a word. Love is a continuing walk, a dim-lit path in which we, as humans, search for the meaning of the word. Love implies a searching, a seeking of Christ. We walk our entire adult lives in a search for one person that we will spend our lives with. Some stops along the way were mere 'pit stops' in a path to our end goal: our 'true' love. Wow, 'pit stops' is a very harsh way to put my previous relationships-- but let me explain. On a long trip what is a pit stop good for? Why stop? To refuel. It is the exact same way with our relationships. When we search so hard for the one we want and realize that he or she isn't the one-- we move on; knowing that God has someone in store for us. Yeah, it will hurt. It will hurt more than anything you will ever go through. But more importantly, we need 'pit stops' to refocus on what it is that God wants, to allow Him to show you that he or she is not "the one"-- or maybe even show you that he or she is. These 'stops' in our search allow us to question the motives behind the relationship. "God, is she the ONE?"He may say yes or no-- or He may not say anything at all. That is when you delve into His word and seek Him first. By doing that, God can reveal more than you could ever imagine (Eph. 4:20), not only about yourself, but also about the one you love. God has already shown you everything you need to know in His word-- we just need to find it and apply it. Applying it is the hard part. So many times we become infatuated with someone so much that we let that infatuation blind the eyes of truth. "But God, she seems perfect for me. She is amazing, and I love her." A phrase that has pierced my lips throughout my entire life. But when will I realize that it is God that orchestrates everything: not me? When will I realize that she belongs to God and not me? Sometimes we have to give up the one that we love so that God can work unhindered in her heart and mine-- and that is the hardest thing to realize when you are in love with someone. As guys we are very proud of "our" girlfriends. "Look how pretty mine is." "Look how awesome mine is." It is like a battle of who has the better girlfriend, and it angers me. And I have taken part in these demeaning conversations. Are we ever going to realize that she belongs to God? Her heart, her soul, her body- all belong to Him. And yet we try to take ownership over her. God has blessed me with relationships that have all ended up to this point-- I know, I am a loser. So what? But in EVERY one of those relationships I have walked out a better man of God, because He revealed things to me. So the question is, "How will I know that she is 'the one?' I cannot answer the question because I have never had the feeling. But I honestly believe that God will let you know. I continue to walk the path; the path in which love lies in conjunction with life and the will of God. I set my eyes on Him and I press on (Hebrews 12:1). So I encourage you lovers out there to seek God in the midst of your relationships. Seek Him first and foremost and He will bless you. And remember that she belongs to God, not you. Peace and love you guys. PS If you read this, leave a comment. I would love to know that someone actually reads these! haha!